He had the coolest car ever!!! It was an old ’75 Dodge Charger. Metallic gold. White vinyl top. Racing wheels. Black interior with white leather seats. Racing steering wheel. Pistol grip gear shift. Soft rumble of an idle that you could feel in your chest from the end of the block. *sigh* And, if he was gettin’ on it at the main intersection six blocks away, it felt like he was coming right through the living room. God, I loved that car!
He was pretty cool, too. In fact, he was the most awesome guy I’ve ever known. Sadly, no other man has ever even come close.
He was the older brother of my best friend’s boyfriend. They all lived at the opposite end of the block from me. I was 15 the first time I saw him, he was shirtless with his head stuck under the hood of that beautiful car. When he stood up to greet me, I locked in on those piercing, soulful blue eyes of his. Oh, and that GREAT smile. But, those eyes. The way he was looking at me, I never wanted him to stop.
He was 6’4″, lean, tan, really nice arms, blonde hair… and, those beautiful blue eyes. He had such a fun laugh, too. We could talk about anything at all… or, he could be really quiet and we’d just soak in being together. You know how when someone gets quiet all of a sudden and you wonder if you said or did something wrong? I never felt that way with him. When he was quiet, I knew he was just processing something internally and would share it with me when he was ready. And, even when he was quiet, he would still lean in for a kiss, or hold my hand, or tell me he loved me. I never had to wonder how he felt. He always made me feel as if I were the only girl alive for him.
We never argued. Even if we didn’t agree on something, we would take the time to listen to each other and either compromise, or one of us would realize it meant more to the other and would be willing to try the other way first. He NEVER raised his voice to me or talked down to me. He showed me I mattered to him in every way. He was patient, understanding, and loving in everything we did together.
He knew I loved that car as much as he did. He would pick me up and we’d drive for a bit before he’d ask me what I wanted to do for the night. I would tell him we were already doing it. I was happy just riding with him. I didn’t care where we went or who we saw.
Sometimes, there would be a gathering at a parking lot where guys would race their cars. The first time I was with him, he stood me by the biggest friend there and told me he’d be right back. He saw I was disappointed and asked wasn’t I scared to be in the car while he was racing. I wasn’t. I trusted him. I knew he loved me and the car, and wouldn’t take any unnecessary risks to hurt either one of us. I knew he was smart enough to never go faster than he felt in control. He was an awesome driver and I loved watching him drive, especially racing. I don’t remember him ever losing.
He knew I loved the water and would take me to this park by the river not far from our homes. We would sit on the rocks and listen to the water lap up on the rocks while watching the boats pass by off in the distance. Then, he would swing with me, or climb to the top of the ladder with me and just hold me in front of him while we sat there looking out over the water together. When he would wrap his arms around me from behind, I felt like nothing bad could ever touch me.
A couple times a week, he would drive me over to the beach, even if it was late and we’d only be able to spend a few minutes there before getting me back home. He knew how much it meant to me to smell the salt air (especially at night) and listen to the waves crash in while digging our toes into the cool white sand.
One night, as he dropped me off at home, he gave me an extra slow kiss, held me a little tighter in our goodnight hug, and told me how he’d love me forever. But, just before he drove away, he told me that I couldn’t see him again. I still don’t know why. Whenever I would visit my best friend, I would say hello to him, but all he would do is smile and turn away. He never spoke to me again. There would be nights I would get calls with no one speaking, but if I called my best friend back right away, I’d hear the same background noises from the call before. My best friend would tell me all the time how he still talked about how much he loved me, but wouldn’t tell anyone why we weren’t together. We had seen each other for two years.
They ended up moving to the next town and I started seeing who would become my first husband. I ran into my best friend a couple years later. She said Jim still hadn’t seen anyone else and pretty much spent his evenings coming home from work, having dinner and a shower, and then going for a drive. I would hear him drive by my house. She said if he was drinking he would talk about missing me, but would never say why he broke it off.
I hope he found someone to love and have a family with. I’m sure he did. I hope he still enjoys taking long drives. I miss them so much. And, I hope she is loving every moment spent with him like I did.
Harley's Musings 